Jiggling Eggs - We Are Begging You Please!

Let us tell you all a story. About eggs. And how much it PAINS us to send them back to the kitchen. Almost EVERY TIME we go to brunch.

As you will see as you read this post, the geek can cook eggs. Perfectly. And the Misadventures don't want to eat imperfectly prepared eggs.

We would like to take this Sunday morning time to remind restaurants in the Greater Universe Metro-Plex that if you are going to put eggs on your menu, and if you're open for brunch it's likely, please make sure your staff knows how to cook them. This is especially true of Eggs Benedict, Sardou, Chesapeake/Maryland, and the kitchengeek's personal favorite Corned Beef Hash with Poached Eggs.


If those suckers aren't jiggling, you overcooked them. And we don't want them.

Your hollandaise could cure disease and your hash could inspire an end to the conflict in Burma/Myanmar and we'd still send the eggs back if they don't have yolk that flows like the cheap lite beer at a suburban Applebee's on a Friday night at happy hour. We're not interested in hard-boiled eggs unless you have the best Chef's Salad in the history of mankind. And we're only interested then if we've also ordered said salad.

And evidenced by this gorgeous little shot here at the end, there are times when it comes out perfectly the first time. It is the nirvana of brunch to have hot coffee throughout a meal and to break the yolk of a poached or sunnyside up egg ever so slightly with one tine of your fork and watch the molten orange create the perfect sauce for your meal.


In our recent attempts to brunch and brunch well we have hit a few roadblocks in the egg department. We would like to profusely thank our servers for each of those meals. They understood immediately, quickly whisked away the plates, ensured coffee was full and hot for the extra wait, and also clearly made sure the eggs were taken from pan to table in the shortest possible time on the re-fire. Both were grace under pressure, at the height of the brunch rush.

So please managers, chefs, cooks, and staff of the world; please take care with your eggs. We know that servers have multiple tables and kitchens have multiple orders flying in at the same time. So if you see a jiggling poached eggs set under a heat lamp, pick it up and lovingly deposit it in front of the diner to whom it belongs. They will likely thank you. And you will have earned much food karma.